During April, we’re holding a series of lectures in six parts with Abundo and Profile Agency, exclusively produced for Abundo and Helio members! Next up is the relationship expert Jacqueline Joo.
We put her on the spot and asked her five quick questions to get an understanding of what we’re going to learn during the evening’s lecture.
Hi Jacqueline! Does everyone have a hidden social ability?
Well, basically yes! However, not everyone uses it in their daily social life – that’s why we need to be reminded of what it consists of and how we can benefit best from it.
Mention three basic pillars of what would be considered as a good social relationship?
Understanding / empathy, communication and equality.
Is there a big difference in core problems when it comes to professional relationships and romantic relationships?
No, not in general. The big problems – regardless of relationship – are for example that we find it difficult to see things from the perspective of others, to understand that we think and feel differently and to be able to accept each other instead of feeling threatened and angry.
We find it difficult to identify and understand how our feelings affect our behavior and our relationships and, above all, we find it difficult to talk about what actually matters. Again, our feelings and needs.
Do we find it difficult to interpret other people’s behavioral patterns?
Some people experience more difficulty than others. We tend to judge people quickly, based on individual actions, without thinking twice. We also take what others say and do personally.
We need to think about why he/she acted in a certain way, what’s going on inside his/her mind and how did this affect us. We need to talk about what happened with the actual person in question – instead of talking about the person with others.
There is always a reason for why people behave the way they do, and in the majority of cases it’s not about you, but there is an explanation. We can never find out the reason if we don’t have the courage to talk to each other when tough situations arise.
Do we have a hard time understanding our own?
It is always difficult to examine yourself from an outside perspective, that is, to stop for a minute and look around from a bird’s perspective and think about why we react and act the way we do, this is called mentalizing. Most of the times when we get angry or frightened for example, we act emotionally and move on in life, this can easily lead to misunderstandings, conflicts and wrong decisions along the way. We need to reflect – and mentalize more!
Thank you Jacqueline, we look forward to hearing more during your lecture!